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The Lazy Pug Cafe

( culture / writing / stories )
My latest short story, based on our real life pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey, the latter of whom is the only one still alive and barking. See ... read more

Good Article About Storytelling

( culture / writing / stories )
via the-good-guy-bad-guy-myth "Pop culture today is obsessed with the battle between good and evil. Traditional folktales never were. What changed?" ... read more

Restroom Difficulty

( culture / humor / stories )
Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, that's not the end. You're at work — on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is — and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is in there, with her cart blocking the door. So, you take the stairs back to your floor, the sixth, because you haven't m ... read more

Devastating Earthquake Rocks Southland

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 © copyright 1993 A powerful earthquake measuring 8.3 on the Richter Scale brought Southern California to its knees just before dawn yesterday. Hundreds of buildings in the greater Los Angeles area were completely destroyed, dozens more rendered uninhabitable. L.A.'s newly-completed MetroRail subway system collapsed in on it ... read more

Aliens Spoke To Me

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 I just started driving. I don't know why. Boredom, I guess. I left my house around noon. I'd had enough of watching football on t.v. and just felt like getting out. When I hopped into my truck I had no idea where I might go. East, I thought. To the desert, maybe. See the desert, I said to myself. To the desert I w ... read more

Remmy Gets Gas

( culture / writing / stories )
from July 1990 by Bill Remmy pulled into the gas station and jumped out of his pickup. He went to the rear of the truck, checked his reflection in the camper shell window, smiled, and slid the gas nozzle into the tank. He left the pump on automatic and wandered over to ... read more

So Much For Sacrificial Rites

( culture / writing / stories )
from February 1990 by Bill Holmes The High Priest announced, We must sacrifice a human life tonight. The crowd of Mibuku natives milling around the fire immediately tensed and fell silent. Suddenly, the High Priest pointed his holy finger at a lowly servant fanning the Queen. The servan ... read more


( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 From September 5, 1989 In the vast expanse of Llycete Spaceport's docking yard on this below-freezing winter morning, the Mraclys, a small ship badly in need of a paint job, stood apart from the other ships. It stood out mostly because it was so ugly. Green on top, orange ... read more

Started A New Story Today

( culture / writing / stories )
... read more

Short Stories

( culture / writing / stories )
Really old (mostly bad) stories by Bill Lipstick & WD40 ... read more

The Slow Leak

( culture / writing / stories )
copyright © Sept. 9, 2000 by Steve Holmes It was a gorgeous Sunday near the end of September and I needed some exercise. Exercise, just for the sake of exercise was probably best done by running on the treadmill at the athletic club. But on a day like that, just exercise wasn't enough. I would take a bike ride on the American River Bi ... read more

The Admired Car

( culture / writing / stories )
by Steve Holmes, © Copyright 2001 Beep, beep, blink, blink! How the car, George wished she could honk her horn and flash her lights. A car with a name? Yes, she knew her name was George because she heard one of her creators say it, By George, she's a beauty. It was a Sunday afternoon in the spring of 1925. Cars ... read more

Murder, Or Just An Honest Mistake?

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 The following story is rated PG. You figure it out. Madison Ripley Smith was sitting at his desk with his feet propped up when she walked in. Long legs, hourglass shape, luxurious jet-black hair, and matching jet-black eyes.What's with the black eyes, Smit ... read more

A Day At The Fair

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 I pulled into Angel's Camp around noon. I was supposed to be meeting my brother Don and his wife Diane there ... somewhere. We hadn't actually decided on a meeting place. That would have been too easy. I drove south on the main street through town (probably Main Street, ... read more

Lunch At Jack-In-The-Box

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1993 Driving around town the other day, I somehow ended up in Hollywood. I don't get to Hollywood much anymore and don't usually find myself missing it. But it was a beautiful day. And seeing all the quaint shops — each striving for uniqueness — and the many people on the st ... read more

The Leaky Weekly

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 The Leaky Weekly's motto used to be: It's Not Just A Newspaper, It's A Piece Of Us. This was quickly perverted by the locals into: It's not just a newspaper, it's a piece of ass. So the motto was changed to: It's Not Just A Newspaper, It's A Family Newsletter. And that's ... read more

One Of Those Nights

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 It was late. Claude couldn't sleep. He decided to walk to the corner liquor store for munchies and beer. As he entered the store, he noticed a girl at the phone-booth by the door. She smiled a curious smile and Claude smiled back uncertainly, then proceeded into the store. ... read more

Lipstick & WD-40

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990 Sandi strolled out of the motel room wearing her tight spandex pants, high-heeled shoes and a simple peasant blouse. She had just turned another trick and she wanted to vomit. This was not a reaction to just the one trick, but from the life she had been leading these past several ... read more

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