Lawyer jokes

Courtroom Capers

  Mary Louise Gilman, editor of the National Shorthand Reporter, has collected many hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books (Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court).

Continue reading Lawyer jokes

Ice fishing

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the
boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, a Continue reading Ice fishing

Stupid sayings

  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • 99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name.
  • I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • HONK if you love p Continue reading Stupid sayings
  • A day at the races

    [from 1994]

    The first Saturday in May. What does this date mean to you? Probably nothing, except that Spring has finally arrived, unless you live in California where it's been Spring already for two months or more — real Spring, not calendar Spring.

    But ask any horse racing buff and they will tell you without hes Continue reading A day at the races

    Portugal to Hungary

    How I Spent My Summer Vacations (Portugal to Hungary)


    [from 1992]

    Portugal/Azores

    On Sunday, July 12th, I woke up … but while getting ready for the flight to Portugal the next morning, I never went back to sleep. In Lisboa, my 2nd cousin Teresa Rocha Homem and her husband Antonio Melo met me at the airport. They served Continue reading Portugal to Hungary

    A girl named Lucy

    [from 1990]

    This is a story ’bout a girl named Lucy

    Otherwise known as “The Rappin’ Watusi”

    She lays down a beat that gets your toes tappin’

    If your toes get tired, let your fingers do the snappin’

    She says “Hey buddy, don’t you be no square”

    If you can’t find a partner, use a wooden chair”

    Okay, so you’ve hear Continue reading A girl named Lucy

    Eastern Canada

    Roving reporter returns from East

    (September, 1989) — Bill returned from his trip to eastern Canada a few weeks back. He was supposed to seek out and capture “Wild Man” Doug. Remember? Well, he’s back. Bill, that is. When asked to report his findings, however, Bill said, “What? You never said anything about fin Continue reading Eastern Canada

    Europe

    Nashville  — June, 1996

    I planned everything in advance. Or so I thought. I bought my round-trip plane ticket three months in advance. I "surfed The Web" and researched whatever I could find regarding my destination cities and countries. I bought renter’s insurance for the apartment, a video camera, a new suit for the w Continue reading Europe